Wed 25
May
2005
A Shade Less Perfect
I’ve been contacting all my friends with babies, pumping them for information on whether those three-wheeler strollers are really all they’re cracked up to be, and do you want a bassinet that also converts into a car seat or is it fine to have those things separate, and surely, surely, when the baby book says they go to the toilet 10 times a day, that has to be some kind of misprint, right?
In the midst of all this, I had an idea for a short story. So I wrote it. If you’re interested, here it is. It’s 3,000 words long.
Thanks so much for all the congratulations and well wishes! You guys rock.
Comments
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Jamie (#111)
Location: Auckland
Quote: "Anyone still spelling "internet" with a capital "I" is probably struggling with the complexities of their new-fangled electric typewriter."
Posted: 6911 days ago
Adam A. (#256)
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Quote: "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that." -George Carlin"
Posted: 6911 days ago
And yeah, great story.
Rob2Kx (#1125)
Location: Canada
Quote: "Anything for laughs even if it kills you"
Posted: 6911 days ago
nyuk nyuk nyuk.
Oh Barry, you wierd little man.
Dave (#29)
Location: Seattle
Posted: 6911 days ago
the-tine (#472)
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
Quote: "Coming soon to a planet near you."
Posted: 6911 days ago
Lucy (#664)
Location: Blue Mountains
Posted: 6911 days ago
Aim for something narrower than a trolley and you're cool. Just something to think of, seems like most people didn't think of how to cope with shopping beforehand.
Advice from a checkout chick, crazy. Anyway, congrats!
Sketch (#30)
Location: In the tree right outside your window
Quote: "Vote Sketch for Fascist God 2005"
Posted: 6911 days ago
Barry Mitchell (#1001)
Location: Saukville, Wisconsin
Quote: ""A hamster's like a small camel" - Ben Katz"
Posted: 6911 days ago
I have a ten month old.
*checks to see if the moon is full*
Tak (#995)
Location: San Jose, CA
Quote: "benevolent hacker"
Posted: 6911 days ago
Laura (#1040)
Posted: 6911 days ago
Ari (#1107)
Location: somewhere around California
Quote: "Can I be a random member of the moment?"
Posted: 6911 days ago
Kenneth Lim (#1335)
Location: Singapore
Quote: "quote? argh... who would care anyway."
Posted: 6910 days ago
Cool twist at the end. Just cool.
Haaa... you should consider writting this story out in full man. This can really sell.
Melissa (#888)
Location: WI
Quote: "When you can't run anymore, you crawl, and when you can't do that, you find someone to carry you."
Posted: 6910 days ago
And congradualations again for the baby!
Stuart Lamble (#1321)
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Quote: "Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional."
Posted: 6910 days ago
John Morris (#346)
Location: Penn Valley
Quote: "to be or not to be"
Posted: 6910 days ago
Erin (#1296)
Location: Chandler AZ
Posted: 6910 days ago
Definitely look into the stroller with detachable base/car seat like Adam said.
Look into cloth diapering, too! It's really scary, the chemicals that are in disposable diapers.
Nosy (but well meant) advice aside, congrats! Loved the story, too. I could definitely sympathize. :)
JacksSmirkingRevenge (#1324)
Location: That place where Billy Elliot was comitted, England
Quote: "What can the harvest hope for if not for the care of the reaper man?"
Posted: 6910 days ago
thewylddream (#1191)
Location: Montana USA
Quote: ""Always forgive your enemies -- Nothing annoys them so much." ~Oscar Wilde~"
Posted: 6910 days ago
http://www.gracobaby.com/catalog/product.aspx?modelNumber=8649GGG&CategoryID=1
http://www.gracobaby.com/products/subcategory.asp?N=41+501&act=A20
I know you didn't ask for that advice from me, but hey... it is still good advice.
And the story was EXCELLENT. I am forwarding it to all my friends.
Dawn (#270)
Location: Atlanta, GA, USA
Quote: "It's too bad I don't have something witty to write here..."
Posted: 6910 days ago
Mats (#1057)
Location: Turku, Finland, Europe, Earth
Quote: ""The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it." James Branch Cabell via Robert Oppenheimer"
Posted: 6910 days ago
Don't worry, it will (probably) be allright.
And surprisingly many babies learn surprisingly early to sleep through the night.
Alexander (#1263)
Location: Sweden
Quote: "Russell was not alone in underestimating chickens. After conducting an early experiment in refrigeration by stuffing a hen with snow, Sir Francis Bacon contracted a chill and died in 1626."
Posted: 6910 days ago
Jason (#1193)
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Quote: "The bulwark of the suggestion box has failed."
Posted: 6910 days ago
Fionut (#467)
Location: London, England
Quote: "Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."
Posted: 6910 days ago
By the way mine both didn't sleep all through the night till almost a year...
Adam (#24)
Location: Morristown, Indiana
Quote: "Why do I blog? Simple, because Max Barry blogs."
Posted: 6910 days ago
HHHMMMMM.....MAYBE I WILL WRITE A STORY.
I've been thinking that blogging is getting a little old and unfulfilling. I just got out of school, and I have a ton of free time. I haven't figured out what it will be about yet, but I am going to start writing it on here. It will probably be very boring and uninteresting, but I guess that is better than my blogging.
I have some friends who just had a baby, and as I read the story I realized that the exact same thing happened to their baby. It's 100% true.
Really, it is...
Why don't you believe me?...
My story my be almost half as good as that one.
Stay tuned...next blog, the saga begins...
There will be many sequels to which I can cash in on...
Adam
shabooty (#637)
Location: D.C./V.A/M.D.
Quote: "I will shake your foundation. I will shake the f**cking rafters. Nobody'll be the same -Danny Bonaduce ....& go visit my blog @: http://www.shabooty.com"
Posted: 6910 days ago
that was cute...
Julie Totsch (#1341)
Location: Racine, WI
Quote: ""The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them." - Robert Frost"
Posted: 6910 days ago
Queen Eve (#460)
Location: Dimensions at SanguinemDraconis.net
Quote: "Sanity is a gift; given at birth, lessened by maturity, and gone from us by the age of reason. --Kestral Lei"
Posted: 6910 days ago
Now thats funny, Max. Great story!.
javier (#1344)
Location: Long Beach, CA, USA
Posted: 6909 days ago
Jjuulliiaann (#1111)
Location: New York
Quote: "Religion is the Opium of the People --Karl Marx"
Posted: 6909 days ago
Dan (#579)
Location: Shanghai, China
Quote: ""Scio me nihil scire.""
Posted: 6909 days ago
Peter N.Bernath (#1041)
Location: Stockholm - Sweden
Quote: "Errr... Is that a tree growing out of your head? - Fallout 2"
Posted: 6908 days ago
Will there be a "follow up", or are you just going to release Company sooner? I mean you can't just let us wait for too long, we might read some books by other authors, and you wouldn't want that, now would you?
Clarence (#1348)
Location: latitude 42.36 / longitude -71.05
Quote: "..I know the TRUTH and I don't have to be what you want Me to BE. -Muhammed Ali"
Posted: 6908 days ago
Yenzo (#829)
Location: Secret underwater pyramid base in the Pacific
Quote: "In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe (Carl Sagan)"
Posted: 6907 days ago
Any other possible surprises that my sister and brother-in-law might tell me? Ever written any stories about witches?
Soigacas (#1354)
Location: UK
Quote: "Someday this war's gonna end"
Posted: 6905 days ago
M.I.Minter (#347)
Location: Grand Rapids, Michigan, USA
Quote: "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
Posted: 6905 days ago
This was like the free tase, and now we have to pay for the next sample of writing. And we pay with time.
Hey, here's an idea, try to sell this to a magazine. Get it printed in playboy or Gear or Parent Magazine. Make some money. Buy all the three wheeled strollers you want. Get one with a jet pack. Go to baby showers and read your story. Watch people pass out. Get on late night talk shows. fight Chuck in a cage match. Beat his ass. Rule the world.
Or just be content with a blog that people realy realy like.
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Ian
Ruth (#288)
Location: Bath, United Kingdom
Quote: "Only the insane have strength enough to prosper. Only those who prosper may truly judge what is sane."
Posted: 6905 days ago
Great story, but...here's a hint for everyone...never allow your friends to read it after midnight, the only person awake in the house with only a small lamp providing light. Which still would of been ok if the spooky clock noises from Pink Floyd's "Time" hadn't started the *very moment* he said the baby couldn't be seen in the mirror.
I'm now spooked! Silly I know...still, great story, and I loved the second twist :)
Dieter Lunn (#1363)
Location: Winnipeg, MB, Canada
Posted: 6901 days ago
That going to the bathroom ten times a day actually isn't that far off. I know my neice sometimes goes through 2 or more diapers in a single changing (She is 1 month old). Well congratulations. Hope you have fun. Love the books.
Dieter Lunn (#1363)
Location: Winnipeg, MB, Canada
Posted: 6901 days ago
Ams_S.o.E. (#1425)
Location: Naptown
Quote: ""I'm dancing for you Kyle(?)" if someone can name the actor who said it and which movie its from (and possibly correct the quote) ill give them monies"
Posted: 6880 days ago
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