Baby, I love your name
Yes! It is only a month and a half until Baby Barry is due. Which means it’s really time for Jen and me to come up with a name.
You’d think this would be right up my alley—I mean, I name characters all the time. But is it really ethical to give a kid a name just because I find it amusing? This is the dilemma I face as I consider such favorites as “Binky,” “Fizz,” and “Alan.”
(Okay, that’s just a joke. The “Alan” doesn’t mean we’re having a boy. I need to be clear about this because we’re keeping the sex a secret, and we have a lot of relatives watching keenly for any slip-up. That would spoil the betting pool—which, incidentally, is currently running 2-to-1 in favor of a girl.)
I know some people say you should wait and see what they look like before naming them (“We were going to call him Sam, but when we saw him we just knew he was a Horatio!”), but I don’t know about this. I’ve seen pictures of newborns, and they all look like aliens. If I named our kid based on what he looked like after birth, I’d probably call him, “Krxz’ll Ak Ak Hrgggggg.”
My other problem is that “Barry” really sucks as a surname. I never realized this before; until now it’s been fine. But just try to put a first name in front of that thing! For boys, anything unusual sounds like we got the name backwards (my Dad went his whole life being called “Barry Hamilton”). Girl names sound ridiculous if they’re two syllables and end in an “ee” sound, and that’s practically all of them. Also, anything that starts with “B” is definitely out.
I tell you, “Barry” makes it tough. And the clock is ticking.
Incidentally, Jen has started referring to herself as “we.” As in, “We’re hungry,” or “We want to lie down now.” It’s little unsettling. She’s become a hive mind.
Comments
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Matthew (#16)
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Quote: "Unicorn on mountain top. Wind blowing through mane."
Posted: 6843 days ago
I, myself, welcome our new fetus/baby overlord.
Grant Henninger (#1438)
Posted: 6843 days ago
In high school there were two brothers, one was named Sam U and the other was Max. Their last name was Well. So I think you could find a perfectly good name that would work well with Barry, you just have to make sure you work with it's strengths.
Bryan McConnell (#1436)
Location: CGY, AB or SPI, IL
Posted: 6843 days ago
Good luck with the baby!
shabooty (#637)
Location: D.C./V.A/M.D.
Quote: "I will shake your foundation. I will shake the f**cking rafters. Nobody'll be the same -Danny Bonaduce ....& go visit my blog @: http://www.shabooty.com"
Posted: 6843 days ago
Thetan Four
that's the "level" that Tom Cruise is...
imagine the things he would accomplish in life if you start him off from day one at level four of scientology... :)
or name him/her after a favorite director/writer like how bout:
Paul Thomas Anderson Barry
or Paula Ann Barry
=)
or if Jen was messing around w/ the black gardener just name him: Jerome
=)
i kidd i kidd...
btw did you hear about Teller from Penn and Teller naming his kid: Crimefighter ---so when he got pulled over in the future he could get out of getting a ticket but just telling the cop that he's "on his side"... :)
Allison Maxted (#327)
Location: Caledonia, Ontario, Canada
Quote: "Why do the mice keep voting for the cats?"
Posted: 6843 days ago
Adam (#580)
Location: Hotel Lobbies (with Winona Ryder)
Quote: "I want to be famous. Really famous."
Posted: 6843 days ago
Tim Ashwood (#595)
Location: Sydney
Posted: 6843 days ago
Maxwell or Maximillian if it's a boy (which ever one you are not), and Maxene if it's a girl.
I, for one, welcome our new Maximum overlord.
Teri (#1189)
Location: Chicago
Quote: "Perception is 9/10ths of Reality."
Posted: 6843 days ago
Rob2Kx (#1125)
Location: Canada
Quote: "Anything for laughs even if it kills you"
Posted: 6843 days ago
Andrew (#1279)
Location: Texas
Posted: 6843 days ago
JacksSmirkingRevenge (#1324)
Location: That place where Billy Elliot was comitted, England
Quote: "What can the harvest hope for if not for the care of the reaper man?"
Posted: 6843 days ago
Tony Quin (#1310)
Location: Plymouth -urgh
Quote: "Yoga is NAILS"
Posted: 6843 days ago
It also doesn't sound silly in front of "Barry", so you're ok on that count too.
I agree about the alien thing, babys can look quite repulsive. You know, "Horatio/a" wouldn't be so bad either! ;)
Tony Quin (#1310)
Location: Plymouth -urgh
Quote: "Yoga is NAILS"
Posted: 6843 days ago
Barry is not a bad surname, at least you can reasonably expect it to be pronounced/spelt correctly. Not so Mr. Atkins. Sorry, Apquins. No, that would be Aquining. *sigh*
Henry T. Monkeypimpenstein (#1212)
Location: Wellington, NZ
Quote: "Monkeypimp: Geeky enough to use his lame NS forum name here too."
Posted: 6843 days ago
Adam A. (#256)
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Quote: "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that." -George Carlin"
Posted: 6843 days ago
Myrth (#22)
Location: London, UK
Quote: "A quote must have a beginning, a middle and an"
Posted: 6842 days ago
Toni (#1195)
Location: Boston
Quote: " Mr. Meany says, "Hey!", "You look like shit today!""
Posted: 6842 days ago
But who am I. Don't listen to me. I'm just some faceless geek who reads alot. lol. I don't believe the whole, see your baby first and then name him because kids grow into a name. If you name him Horatio, when he's older people will say, wow he looks like a Horatio.........Because He IS a HOratio. lol
All the best and congratulations!!!
Jonathan (#1209)
Location: Niskayuna, NY (USA)
Quote: "Quamquam Max Barry fuit molestus, servi eum non verbererunt."
Posted: 6842 days ago
Adolph Barry
Bertha Barry
Giesela Barry
Ludwig Barry
Otto Barry
Ottokar Barry
Wolfgang Barry
Personally, I think the best is "Bertha Barry" (for a girl) or "Adolph Barry" (for a dictator boy).
Joscelyn (#754)
Location: California,USA
Posted: 6842 days ago
Danni (#357)
Location: England
Quote: "Eagerly awaiting the European Tour."
Posted: 6842 days ago
Oh, and just another thing- you may have less time than you think. Sammie was 3 weeks early, being born Boxing Day after I went into labour Christmas Day. The right name will come to you, though looking in baby books won't hurt :)
Good luck, and tell Jen I'm thinking of them ;)
OverlordBill (#1197)
Location: ~2B, -4B
Posted: 6842 days ago
You could by naming it Very though. That would be bad. Very bad. (Ho ho wit.)
Allison Maxted (#327)
Location: Caledonia, Ontario, Canada
Quote: "Why do the mice keep voting for the cats?"
Posted: 6842 days ago
Cotland (#1325)
Location: jippi
Posted: 6842 days ago
Bushra (#36)
Location: Fremont, California
Quote: "www.caffeinatedmuslim.com"
Posted: 6842 days ago
Ethan
Keith
Jarrod
Darien
Can't think of any girls names.
Luckdragon (#1116)
Location: Connecticut, USA
Quote: "Totally addicted to the online, all the time, never gonna go outside."
Posted: 6842 days ago
April
June
August(en)
Or try some "O" names
Orson
Oscar
Oswald (so the nickname can be Oz, sweet)
Or as stated before, after some dangling bit of pop-culture:
Squall
Tifa
Rinoa?
RuPaul Barry? (ok, I think I crossed the line).
Yenzo (#829)
Location: Secret underwater pyramid base in the Pacific
Quote: "In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe (Carl Sagan)"
Posted: 6842 days ago
Yeah... Krash Barry in da house, yo. Didn't like that Adolf idea too much, though. Probably Benito, that at least got a little sound.
Robert (#413)
Location: Los Angeles
Quote: "A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."
Posted: 6842 days ago
Grant Henninger (#1438)
Posted: 6842 days ago
lyssabits (#1444)
Location: San Francisco, CA
Quote: ""Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.""
Posted: 6842 days ago
How do you men trick us into having these "babies" in the first place? ;)
colette (#1361)
Location: ON YOUR SCREEN
Quote: "What just happened?"
Posted: 6841 days ago
Tell Jen the secret plan of world domination has begun. It is now her turn to ensure the success of our species.
Ari (#1107)
Location: somewhere around California
Quote: "Can I be a random member of the moment?"
Posted: 6841 days ago
Boys' names are tough....
Rowan (#1446)
Posted: 6841 days ago
You have to admit you'd get some laughs.
Mincetro (#584)
Quote: "This isn't skiing"
Posted: 6841 days ago
Resputine? or if its a girl, Resputina.
I recently named my dog Vlademir...
Russian names are always good for everyone.
Or a klingon name... Kh'tah is a powerful name don't you think? What about Beh'Lh'anah. That fits nicely on a Marquee.
I've known people called Dax and Jester...
Blair Yacishyn (#1447)
Location: Yorkton, Saskatchewan, Canada
Quote: "Well, School is hockey since it's never nice to talk about water."
Posted: 6841 days ago
Ams_S.o.E. (#1425)
Location: Naptown
Quote: ""I'm dancing for you Kyle(?)" if someone can name the actor who said it and which movie its from (and possibly correct the quote) ill give them monies"
Posted: 6840 days ago
Yenzo (#829)
Location: Secret underwater pyramid base in the Pacific
Quote: "In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe (Carl Sagan)"
Posted: 6840 days ago
Adam (#24)
Location: Morristown, Indiana
Quote: "Why do I blog? Simple, because Max Barry blogs."
Posted: 6840 days ago
BINKY? FIZZ?
Why can't people give their kids normal names like Jeffery or Jonathan? Or if it's a girl, Rachael or Rebbecca? Too many people torture their children by giving them weird names like Apple and Radioscience. By the way, I think you should name the baby Desklamp. Or if it's a girl, Rippleffect. Speaking of names, Why the crap is there another guy named Adam on here,Adam(#580)?
And now time for something completely different.
So I was jogging the other day and I began thinking about world hunger. I came up with a plan to end it, but then I forgot and life went on. End of Story.
The next chapter in the Panda Chronicles...
RUSSIA?
So the Mecha-Walrus and Electrik began swimming the Bering Strait. It was a long and enduring swim. As they drew closer to Russia, they encountered a large sign.
Electrik began reading the large sign sticking out of the water(good thing he took Russian in High School)," SORRY, RUSSIA HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM THE MAP DUE TO LARGE BUDGET CUTS."
"Now what are we supposed to do?" asked Mecha-Walrus.
"I am not sure," Electrik replied.
"Perhaps we could vandilize the sign with graffiti. That would temporarily make us feel better."
"Okay."
So they pulled out their neon colored spray paint cans and began paint RUSSIA SUCKS! all over the giant sign not realizing that Russia no longer existed because Red Panda was watching Electrik from afar. He knows that Electrik has been sent to stop him....
BACK AT RED PANDA'S HIDEOUT!
Busy mice are scurrying everywhere doing Red Panda's little chores with the supervision of Red Panda's most trusted officials. "Work Faster mice. No time for breaks. We've got an army to feed!" They shouted at the mice.
"Ah yes, everything is going to plan." Red Panda says with after hearing the news that Electrik can't get past the barrier that he set in Russia. "Now no one can stop me...Bwahahahahahahahahaha....ha!"
What will happen next? Not even I know.
Want to leave a comment, Adam?
Answer: Yes
Adam
EsforG13 (#1448)
Location: Fort Wayne, IN
Quote: "Fishing is like masterbatation with out the payoff!"
Posted: 6840 days ago
This has nothing to do with the blog but I just wanted to let you know I just read Jennifer Government and I loved it. Can't wait for company and I just order Syrup. Hey have you ever been contacted about making a movie about one of your books?
Yenzo (#829)
Location: Secret underwater pyramid base in the Pacific
Quote: "In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe (Carl Sagan)"
Posted: 6840 days ago
Daniel Rose (#1367)
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posted: 6840 days ago
Some examples are... -Phoebus (Apollo)
-Ajax (also a cleaning product)
-Athena or Nike (goddesses of etc)
-Poseidon (god of sea)
-Dionysis (god of drinking)
Daniel Short (#257)
Location: Oklahoma, USA
Quote: "Hehe"
Posted: 6839 days ago
Trust me. Don't ask how I know, just trust me
William S (#485)
Location: North Carolina
Quote: "When the time comes, cut the green one."
Posted: 6839 days ago
Two "L"s in Lloyd. Don't ask me why, though, I think it has something to do with llama
William S (#485)
Location: North Carolina
Quote: "When the time comes, cut the green one."
Posted: 6839 days ago
I'm not sure how we do it. I think it involves alcohol.
Mats (#1057)
Location: Turku, Finland, Europe, Earth
Quote: ""The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it." James Branch Cabell via Robert Oppenheimer"
Posted: 6839 days ago
HAL 9000 (#271)
Location: Boston
Quote: "Let them hate me, so long as they fear me."
Posted: 6839 days ago
"Maxx" definitely works well, as you know (but you have to add the extra X)... You could just do something very "Syrupy" and name the kid Q or something like that "@" *is* a pretty name for a girl, after all... or, see if you can get some advertising revenue if you named her/him "Nike"....
Malkav11 (#1403)
Posted: 6839 days ago
Grace (#1225)
Location: Melbourne aka The Cliffs of Insanity
Quote: "I refuse to have a battle of wits with someone who is unarmed."
Posted: 6836 days ago
Fizz Barry? Why not? Shaz? Bazz? Phil? Sam? All good.
Nate Spears (#1454)
Location: Dallas, TX
Quote: ""Vengeance. Justice. Fire and blood." -Doran Martell"
Posted: 6835 days ago
I also think that you should consider naming your son Barry. Later, when you succeed in putting your Nation-states experience to work in Europe somewhere, you can create a military rank of Barry in your army. At the moment of your enlisted son's promotion, your horrified wife will finally discover his monstrous middle name . . . Barry Barry Barry Barry. Few men would be brave enough to do such a thing, but I think that you are one of them.
You might also turn to the great Stanley Kubrick for inspiration. Lyndon Barry has a certain ring to it; aside from the novel and movie of the reverse name, it also brings to mind "lingonberry," and "Londonderry," as in "aire."
John Doe (#797)
Location: Live from Omicron Persei 8
Quote: "You're just jealous because the little voices only talk to me."
Posted: 6831 days ago
http://babynamewizard.com/namevoyager/lnv0105.html
How old did you say you were? :) Your name seems to have been quite uncommon at the time.
Jamie (#111)
Location: Auckland
Quote: "Anyone still spelling "internet" with a capital "I" is probably struggling with the complexities of their new-fangled electric typewriter."
Posted: 6784 days ago
Either some of your relatives have secret ultrasound powers, or someone in-the-know spilled the genes.
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